Save the date! Five top tips to revive your dating game
Dr Janina Steinmetz gives her five tips for online daters ahead of Valentine’s Day in lockdown
Valentine’s Day will look rather different this year, with social distancing and lockdown measures appearing to have put paid to plans of going out for a romantic meal, a celebratory drink or even a film at the cinema.
Popular dating apps like Bumble and Tinder were quick to set up video dating as a feature early on in the pandemic, but in the virtual setting that we’re all now accustomed to it can be easy to neglect best practices for interacting and trying to impress others – particularly if it’s been a while since your last date.
Dr Janina Steinmetz, Senior Lecturer in Marketing at the Business School (formerly Cass) offers her top tips and refreshers for daters hoping to meet that somebody special ahead of a rather unique Valentine’s Day:
Brag with humility
“You might want to tell your date about some of your accomplishments, and that's perfectly fine and understandable. After all, your proud moments should be shared. But if you want to brag a bit, do it openly and don't try to hide your bragging.
“This tip might sound counterintuitive, but people often brag ‘badly’ when they try to hide their bragging within a complaint or fake humility. So, instead of saying that you have no idea why you got your promotion that comes with much extra work anyway, simply say that you're happy you got promoted.”
Emphasise hard work
“While we're talking about accomplishments, even if you're superhuman you probably worked hard for your success. Don't forget to mention that, because your efforts will make you seem relatable to your date.
“Remember that you'll want to feel connection, and your struggles will give them a chance to connect with you in more meaningful ways than simply admiring your success.”
Ask plenty of questions
“Enough about you: don't talk too much about yourself.
“This should be a no-brainer, but people are still often too self-focused on dates. Don't be shy to ask your date questions or even solicit their advice when they're an expert on something.
“Your date will feel flattered when you give them space to talk about their passions.”
Be careful with compliments
“If you give a compliment, be sincere and don't try to make the compliment about you.
“If you're into running marathons and your date asks you questions about your hobby, don't say things like "you're well-versed for a running novice". That will just put your date down.
“Instead, compliment something that you seriously admire. This way you’ll keep the focus of the conversation on them and allow them to speak confidently about something important or special to them.”
Be kind about others
“Don't talk negatively about other people.
“If you say things like, "none of my co-workers have a clue about anything" you may think you'll look competent in comparison but that's not true.
“Instead, your date will most likely worry that you'll be disparaging towards them to others at some stage, and will be put off.”
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Senior Lecturer in Marketing